psychological meat market of the future

I wonder about allot of things. I think the thing I wonder about the most is people. not just other people, myself, animals, things. I wonder allot.

Too much probably. Just when you think you get it, someone surprises you, proving how relentlessly unpredictable people can be. And unbelievable. and unreliable. Chaos is such a part of living things.

Do other people care? Did anyone else see that? Do they feel like that? Bunch of piss. I think I am pessimistic about other people. They don't make so much sense. I don't figure I do either. We all seem to want a whole lot of things, but can't manage to figure out, in all of our grandeur, how to get them. Apathy? A disease.....??

Laziness. I'm going to prove it is a disease. The lack of will to accomplish major goals in life, the want of mediocrity. All that fat is just potential. It would be a sin in my little dictatorship. I hate the idea, yeah, but if all you knew was an advanced concept of competitiveness, you wouldn't complain, because that would just be that.

I am not, if anything, competitive in any advanced way. We're just talking ideas. I think brave new world was a good book, makes you think the environment and your genetics have everything to do with who you are. Looks good too.

I don't know though, one thing about sociology, I thing a monarchy, dictatorship etc. would do better. THe right tool in the right hand. Centralized control would solve so many problems, but the person would have to be a saint for it to work in favor of evolution. Democracies suck, you don't know who's doing what, it just happens, and everything is told to you by people you wouldn't walk across a room to spit on, better yet, by people who say one thing and almost always mean another. Organized anything just sucks I guess.

I love to think often times that allot of other people think about things like I do. In a disassociate way. And maybe that’s why nothing good happens. Because we have removed ourselves from it. Not too smart in the end I guess.

There needs to be some sort of secret institution that takes it upon itself to dispatch idiots in power. I would not mind.

Its funny how things worked out.  24 hours in a day,yada yada.  If everything were more spread out we would have more time in the day huh? maybe.  Or  maybe we would sleep twice a day instead of most of us sleeping once.  I don't like schedules.  Never ate, slept, or anything on a regular basis unless forced. 

Sleep is a raw deal.  The only reason it feels so great is cause we need it so much.  Such a waste of time.  If someone could package sleep in a pill or whatever, they would be the richest person instantly.  If you never needed more than ten or twenty minutes of down time, just imagine.

So this is my first blog. I guess it was eventual. I hope there is a spell-check.

The human struggle is a pretty piece of work. Search for that thing, get it, want more, and go again. I decided on that a long time ago. But it is eventual; it is a component of life or something! You just want more, if you don't know, wait a week. Satisfaction comes, but the lure of new and interesting things is fought off like a devil. That’s how I have experienced life, and without religion I think I do a good job resisting temptation, almost perfect actually. Except for cigarettes and pot. And the sex thing ; )

No, sex isn't the issue. Long term relationships with jobs, people, blah, whatever! I seek change and that's that. Batting at it is ok and all, but I think that my personality type (eNTp) can't handle it forever. People always told me that when you feel out of control, you reach out and control usually negatively whatever is easiest, whatever you shouldn't be messing with. I learned over time this was true.

Every since I could remember now I have thought about why people are the way they are. Environmental? Genetics? wtf? I think as time goes on chaos is much more likely. Everything is a result of everything, and ultimately, everything is affected by everything. Life isn't fair, that is a clear sign of chaos to me. Weather isn't ever stable in the long run, DNA can mutate from generation to generation, our bodies can flip out on the drop of a dime, and psychological disorders are created from all forms of odd events and happening. It's like order tries, but must play to chaos's tune. I think our collective way of understanding one another is chaotic. Sometimes our feelings don't make sense, and when you begin to strip names off things and slink further back into being an animal, you realize life is chaos to them. Humans made up order in the end didn't they? I bet. Everything must operate in a way, yeah, but they operate against the constant burst of chaos, emanating from all kinds of industries, people, animals, insects, the entire universe is just a chaotically thrown out dust of star powder on a blank canvas.

Order is imposed. It is needed to accomplish tasks, but it is in my opinion, and I might be wrong, that we cling too close to it, believe too much in it, and stock too much energy and time into it.

Actually I don't really think I like religion. The ends do not justify the means. When I was young, I would have the best conversations after indulging in one particular chemical, and came to the realization I would love to have those conversations without it. So I started too. I think people should be able to feel good and great about everything without turning to something that is supposed to magically make everything better. If indeed there is a deity, especially just one, running everything, it's a little presumptuous to make out any problem to be so great that it needs to work out. Religion tends to drive people nuts too, and that is just no good, and kind of defeats its own purpose.

The animals don't need a religion. They just are who they are. I bet they thank nothing when they finally find water, or food. I don't believe god made everything, I think everything made god. I believe in everything, the chaos and order struggle behind everything affecting everything, and that just being that. If there is a conductor, that being does not give two shits about my praise, because if there is an ultimate order, that deity has got to be the busiest thing ever.

Is blog good? I don't know. It probably wastes time. It sorts out thoughts though.